How my coach helped me figure out my maternity leave plan
I am really excited to get into a topic today that I'm very passionate about, and that is coaching. I’ll share a bit about what coaching is, what it’s not, and then I’ll share the most recent transformational shifts I have gotten out of working with my own coach, Jay Molloy, in gearing up for maternity leave!
What is coaching?
If you Google the word coaching, the first thing that comes up is coaching in an athletic sense. The two are pretty similar. If you think about it, they're both in the helping profession. As a coach, you're not the doer, but you're the support system or the pit crew.
The International Coach Federation (ICF) defines coaching as,
“…partnering in a thought provoking and creative process that inspires a person to maximize their personal and professional potential. The process of coaching often unlocks previously untapped sources of imagination, productivity and leadership. When you work with a coach, you set out on a path to greater personal and professional fulfillment.”
How good does that sound?!
A couple of keywords that I want to pull out in that definition from the ICF:
It’s a creative process
It’s a thought provoking process
It inspires a person to maximize their potential
And this is done by working with a trained and trusted coach!
HOW DOES AN ICF CERTIFIED COACH HELP YOU?
When you find a trained professional in this field, they know how to guide you through a process to unlock your potential; but the work is entirely yours. The decisions are yours, the action is yours and that always results in more meaningful results.
In a nutshell, a trained coach will help you to:
Clarify who you are, where you are and what you value
Clarify the problem, opportunity or challenge at hand (so you actually know what the issue even is!)
Support you in deciding what path and action you will take
HERE’S AN EXAMPLE
Something that I hear a lot is, “I want to quit my job tomorrow.”
My next line of questioning would be to help them explore what’s underneath, or the sub-context, of that statement.
What is the true desire in wanting to quit?
The answer could be one in a million things.
I want more time at home
I don’t feel challenged
I don’t feel safe at work
I just straight up don’t want to be doing this anymore
From there, we would explore what options are available?
And that is where your unlocked potential comes in! Through being asked thought-provoking questions, you can uncover what your deepest desires are, what your goals truly are, and that will help you make better decisions.
What is the difference between coaching, counselling, psychology, psychiatry, and consulting
I’m going to boil it down into the simplest terms ever, for the purpose of given you a few rules of thumb when thinking of these very different professions.
Coaching:
Examples include a Career Coach, Leadership Coach, Executive Coach, or Life Coach
Non-directive thought partnership
Asks questions to help you uncover answers and solutions
Has completed 8 month + formal training (here is the Graduate Certificate program I attended from Royal Roads University!)
Not a mental health professional
Mental Health Support:
Examples include a Registered Clinical Counsellor, Psychologist, or Psychiatrist
Likely a mix of directive and non-directive thought partnership
Each different in their own right, but the above would all hold at least masters degree in their field
Have very specific training in supporting evaluation, diagnosis and treatment of mental health concerns
Hold professional designations
Click here for immediate global mental support (global directory of immediate support options).
Consulting:
Examples include an Organizational Psychologist, Lactation Consultant, Sleep Consultant
Directive thought partnership
Asks questions in order to provide a recommended solution
You are leaning on their expertise in a particular field
Likely not a mental health professional (unless they are a mental health professional and also work as a consultant)
My personal belief is that no one professional service provider can be the answer to all your problems. I believe that surrounding yourself with a community of trusted support partners is the best way to unlock your potential in all areas of your life. And to seek out the services as needed based on your goals, issues or needs.
Who is coaching right for and when might you seek it out
Who is coaching for?
Firstly, I can say with confidence that coaching is for anybody. With the right, reputable person, coaching is harm-free, risk free element to coaching because you are in the drivers’ seat of your conversations.
Why might a person seek out coaching?
Often the word I hear is “stuck” and most often in the areas of…
Work
Life balance
Knowing how to tackle big dreams
Feeling like there’s something more to life
How do you find the right coach
Step 1: Look at credentials
Looking to see where they became accredited is helpful, and if they were trained with an ICF designation.
Step 2: Make sure you meet them before money exchanges hands
Always get a consultation and meet with the person you’ll be spending this intimate time with. Always.
Step 3: Some good questions you can ask
Some questions you might consider asking:
What are your credentials?
How would you describe your style of coaching?
Who do you typically support?
Step 4: Watch outs
You should never feel backed into a corner. And you should never be “promised” an end result or told that you cannot achieve your goals without John Doe coach. If so, run. That’s not coaching. If there is any hesitation, move on and meet with a few more people.
And if you feel any hesitation, meeting with a few more people!
A trained coach should have the belief that you need to find the right coach for you
Working with my own coach to prepare for maternity leave
I met my coach for the first time in person at her home in Pemberton, BC. She greeted me with a gorgeous homemade lunch, including homemade bread. We chatted and caught up on life things. Then we got to work. The day flew right by, and I couldn’t even tell you the specific (and very powerful) questions that Jay asked me, but what I do remember is how she guided me through a recap of all the work we have done together in these last few months.
We recalled:
My values
My superpowers
My big dreams and goals
And as Jay is pregnant herself, she was keen to remind me of the fact that a baby is coming really soon :)
She asked me about what I want these next few months to look like before baby comes. And then she asked me what I want to do, achieve, not achieve, while on mat leave. These thought provoking questions in the context of my values and big dreams, created a great container to explore what I really want.
the decisions I have made AS A RESULT OF MY COACHING WORK
I don’t have capacity for 1:1 work while in the early days of baby care
I feel really motivated to wrap my coaching work with a few weeks to spare, and to ensure that my clients are fully and completely supported in my absence
I want to have the podcast to continue to run while I’m out of the day to day; with weekly episodes dropping
I want to allow myself the flexibility to work on projects that speak to me while I’m not taking on 1:1 work (e.g. online programming for y’all!)
RESULTS & TRANSFORMATION (WHAT THIS OUTCOME IS GIVING ME)
A mental plan
The permission to pause
Confidence
I have freed up so much mental space right now
And I know that I have freed up so much mental space for my future (post-partum) self
Whatever season of life you are in, and however this is resonating for you, I hope that you can find a team of people, including perhaps a coach, who can really support you to unlock whatever potential you might have hiding.
OTHER EPISODES MENTIONED
Ep. 13 - I’m pregnant! And figuring out how to navigate my career and business at the same time
