Figuring out how to find and maintain holiday joy all season long
This episode is all about how to find and maintain JOY during the wild and exciting holiday season. As a working parent, you have a lot on your plate already, so I’ve got 6 quick strategies for you to try out so you can be more present and spend quality time with those you love.
1. Find joy in holiday preparations:
Preparing for the holiday season can be really fun and a huge creative outlet. Try not to let the preparations add to your “must-do” list. Prioritize what you actually want to take part in, and carve out time to intentionally do those things so you can enjoy them, versus checking them off the list.
2. Find joy (and organization) in wrapping up your work before the holidays:
I have experienced both ends of this equation. There are a couple of years that I can remember where I did such a great job of wrapping up my work for the new year:
I cleaned my inbox
I cleaned my actual desk
I had all projects and admin really well under control
These preparations allowed me to totally unplug over the holiday season. A true reset to come back fresh in the new year!
And then…there are many years that were the opposite. It was pure work carnage before and during the holidays, resulting in little to no time off. I was sending emails, pushing campaigns live, replying to emails.
Talk about a lack of boundaries and a lack of preparation.
So do whatever you can. And don't try to boil the ocean. Don't feel like you have to do all the things all at once. Like I always say with clients, what's the first step? What are the first three things that you can do? And what are the things like Taylor Aller shared, on Episode 2, that can be put on the “not yet list”.
Think of this prep work in two camps:
What can I wrap up at work that will make the holiday season stress-free and great?
What can I do that my future self will thank me for?
Doing what you can to avoid the post holiday scaries does just as much for your future self, as it does for the anticipatory self. Try it out!
3. Finding joy while hosting over the holidays (or any time of year!):
I grew up in a house where my parents hosted so much we always had people around; I’m talking a minimum of 18 to 25 person Christmases and Thanksgivings. I really got a crash course, and huge appreciation and love, for hosting.
Now that I have my own family, I’m figuring out what hosting looks like for us; especially now that we have a child thrown into the mix!
The basics:
So like my family always does, set the table first.
It's like productivity 101, where you ensure that you're at least completing your must do items before getting to the nice to dos.
What you know will need to get done are things like:
Getting yourself ready
Having a plan for dinner so it’s ready at a decent time
Having some drinks ready to serve
What you don’t need to do:
Iron your bed linens (for the first tirme) in case someone does a house tour
Hang things on the walls
Anything that requires a drill
Walk back from when your company is arriving and make a bit of a plan for the sequencing and what has to get done. My neighbour actually uses a chalk board in her kitchen to time her more elaborate cooking escapades: genius!
Make a game plan with your partner and kids:
So another piece of the story is something that I've learned, and it's making a game plan with my husband, Scotty, around the hosting.
It used to just be a bit wild, wild west. People were coming over, and we would haphazardly be buzzing around getting ready without actually consulting each other. We were bumping into each other, getting frazzled and on occasion getting annoyed with each other.
Having people around should be fun! And it’s not fun to get in some sort of conflict just before company arrives.
So to avoid that very common scenario, go through a plan of attack together. Bonus points if you use your adult communication skills to have a dialogue versus barking orders. And that's something that we learned in Episode 4 on figuring out how to build stronger relationships and communication tools as parents with Ann Visser.
The benefit of this, apart from not getting in a fight, is reducing the mental load of hosting. You can focus on your task list, and you have to let go of everything else. It might even allow you to sit and chill in the minutes before people arrive.
The bonus benefit is that it also allows you to make more time for anything that really excites you about hosting, like making a charcuterie board, whipping up some signature cocktails or messing around with a new recipe.
4. Finding joy while traveling with kids:
We have been able to travel a few times now with our daughter, and even traveled over the Christmas holidays last year. There are many lists that I consulted, and a lot of trial and error. Here are some of the ones that I’ll be remembering most for future trips.
Borrow:
My friend Melissa and I do this all the time before one of us is going on a warm vacation: we go over to the other person’s house, and raid their closet for summer clothes for both us and our kids.
It’s fun, it's economical, it’s more sustainable!
Plan downtime in your trip itinerary:
When you're planning the final details of what you're going to do on your trip, always always always build in buffer or downtime.
Especially if you’re visiting a tonne of people, you want to make sure you get some quiet family time to also reset. Remember, this is your holiday too!
This also is key around the winter cold and flu season because chances are, someone is getting sick, and that gives you some time to rearrange as needed.
Packing for a trip with kids:
A routine that we started doing has been to create a “staging area”. It started out as a pile on a chair in our bedroom. With three of us now, it‘s graduated to a corner of my office. It’s not sexy, but it does the trick and has made packing much less chaotic in our household.
This one is very basic: when you think of something quite niche that you want to bring on your holiday adventures, and don’t want to forget it (and don’t need it right now), toss it in the “staging area”. When it comes time to pack? You’re halfway there!
There are a million other places to find fun tips for packing for a trip with kids, here are a few good ones:
Buzzfeed: 41 Products Reviewers Swear By For Going On Vacation With Children
Buzzfeed: 33 Ways To Make Traveling With Kids A Little Bit Easier
Pinterest: SO many pins to choose from
Instagram: from @crafty.moms and @munchkininc
Make the day before and day of travel as stress-free as possible:
The final tip I have for finding joy in traveling over the holidays with kids is to make the day before or the day of travel as relaxing as possible. It should be the finishing touches day.
I'll draw from my experience in musical theater: you would never touch a show the day before or day of. It makes for stress and chaos!
In all seriousness, I have found that having a stressful pre-travel period just makes my unwind period on the other side longer. And this mama wants to relax!
5. Finding joy in the chaos of the holiday season:
Feeling chaotic, a bit overwhelmed, a bit…ahh!!!! Remember: this too shall pass, and these are the memories you’ll be remembering.
You’ll remember the funny stories about what your friends and family members have done (the mishaps mainly). But you’ll also remember how you felt. A lot of details are lost, but how you felt and how you showed up will stick with you. As best you can, try to sink into the chaos and remember that you will be able to get back to your routine of healthy eating (ish) and working out, very very soon.
6. Finding joy in the post holiday season:
This is kind of like the conclusion of the Hallmark movie (2022 top list can, and should be viewed, here 😉 ).
I think finding joy in the post holiday season is just as important as any other point on this list!
But it's kind of like the old strategy of already knowing when your next time off work is, when you’re currently on vacation: critical.
A few ways you can do that:
Do what my sister, Heidi, did one year and send happy new year cards instead of Christmas cards.
Plan a few furniture rearrangements, or some decor items you’re excited to swap around.
Can you plan to do new year dinners and hangs with friends, instead of cramming them into December?
Whatever you are doing this holiday season, wherever you will be and however you are feeling, I’m sending all my light and love to you. Excited for a new year of figuring it all out with you!
OTHER EPISODES MENTIONED
(Ep. 2) Taylor Aller on figuring out her multi-passionate career
