How to Raise Emotionally Strong, Self-Aware Boys with Kathy Imabayashi
Ep. 81 on the All Figured Out Podcast
When I became a mom to a little boy, I didn’t expect how much I’d question how the world would treat him. As a parent, we all want to do right by our kids—but for many of us raising boys, there’s a lot we’re unlearning while trying to nurture and support them into emotionally strong, self-aware adults. That’s why this conversation with Kathy Imabayashi felt so personal and powerful.
Kathy is a retired educator with over 40 years of experience in early childhood education across Canada, Japan, Lebanon, and beyond. She’s the founder of Sonhood Coaching, and she’s made it her mission to support parents of boys through coaching, courses, and free resources. In this episode of All Figured Out, Kathy and I unpack the hidden messages society sends boys, how that affects their emotional development, and what we as parents can do to create safe, shame-free environments for them.
Biggest Themes from Our Conversation
– How Kathy’s international career in education shaped her approach to parenting
– The life-changing story that sparked her mission to advocate for boys
– Why society often mislabels boys as “too much” or “dangerous”
– How school environments are often unintentionally set up to favor girls
– The “boy code” and the emotional masks boys learn to wear
– Key differences in how boys communicate and process emotion
– How parents can intentionally raise boys with more empathy, resilience, and confidence
Key Takeaways for Parents Raising Boys
“Boys are not broken.”
Kathy reminds us that boys aren’t inherently aggressive or emotionally distant—they’re often misunderstood.
Understand the “boy code.”
Messages like “boys don’t cry” or “anger is the only acceptable emotion” shape how boys behave—and not for the better.
Make your home a shame-free zone.
Boys need a safe space where they’re allowed to express all emotions without fear of judgment or embarrassment.
Watch your language.
How we respond to our kids’ big feelings—especially in public—can deeply affect their self-esteem and emotional regulation.
The power of time silence.
Boys often need space and time before they’re ready to talk about difficult emotions. Side-by-side conversations (like in the car) often work better than face-to-face ones.
Education matters.
Kathy breaks down Reggio Emilia and IB approaches and why they can be better suited for both boys and girls than more traditional schooling.
It’s never too early—or too late—to start these conversations.
Whether your son is 3 or 23, it’s always the right time to learn how to better understand and support him.
About the Guest
Kathy Imabayashi is a mom, retired educator, entrepreneur, and founder of Sonhood Coaching. Her mission is to help parents raise emotionally grounded boys through empathy, understanding, and evidence-based strategies. Kathy offers coaching, online courses, and workshops for parents, and her work is rooted in decades of experience working with children and families in Canada, Japan, Lebanon, and Qatar.
Freebies from Kathy for Listeners:
Check out the free resources available on her website, including:
– 3-Day Challenge for Parents Raising Boys
– 5 Pivotal Tips for Raising Boys
– The 3 Pillar Guide to Raising Boys
Find them at: https://www.sonhoodcoaching.com
About Andrea Barr, host of All Figured Out
Andrea is a certified career and life coach for parents. Through her coaching, she supports parents in finding better work-life rhythms so they can continue to grow personally and professionally without sacrificing family time.
Connect with Andrea via Instagram here.
