Using reflection to figure out how to find clarity, calm and controlled chaos in your life
Can you believe it’s already the ended of 2022? I say this every year I’m sure, but wow did that year ever fly by.
Reflecting something that we hear we should do this time of year.
As I was thinking about how I wanted to close out and reflect on my year, I thought I would share my methodology with you so you can reflect along with me.
Reflecting is a funny thing.
Sometimes we do it intentionally. And every day, we actually do it without even thinking about it. When we use words or phrases like reflecting, goal setting or meditating; they take on this grandiose vibe, don’t they? Like you need to purchase some subscription or book or tool to be allowed in the club.
But really, these are just personal development tools that you can get inspired to create for yourself. So I want you to leave deciding how you would like to reflect on this past year, and commit to doing it!
Below I’ve got some really easy and tangible tips for you to reflect on this past year so you can set yourself up for an incredible 2023.
Next, read or listen to “Part 2: A 7-min guided meditation to figure out your 2023 intentions”
This is part one of a two part series where I'll be helping you get geared up for a new year that is all about helping you feel more aligned and pumped about your life at work and at home without having to make sacrifices to what matters most to you.
Free workshop series launching Jan. 12, 2023
On Thursday, January 12, I'm going to be kicking off a free three week long live workshop series.
And I have a feeling that this topic is gonna resonate with a lot of you, as the theme is 2023 career and life planning for parents, in order for you to plan your year of clarity, calm and controlled chaos.
3 weeks
30 min live Zoom workshops
And you’ll be walking away with your 3 next steps to making 2023 an amazing year.
How to reflect on the year
Add in the “So what?” (aka an action to think more about)
The pratice or exercise that you do could be 5, 15, 60 minutes. It truly doesn’t matter. But what does matter, is that you pair the reflection with a big, fat…
“So what?”
Asking yourself this differentiates the simple act of recounting your day to your partner, or in your journal, and truly reflecting. It’s adding intention and a next step to the memory. And it goes like this:
Based on whatever you’re reflecting on, be it events at work, the travels you went on with your family or your wellness journey over the past year, you ask yourself this…
Based on how these events made me feel and the outcomes of them, is there anything there that I feel requires a next step or action?
Is there anything that I might want to start, stop or continue doing based on this reflection
The word of caution here:
We’re not yet in the future focused part of planning. So don’t get hung up on the feasibility of what you want to start, stop or continue doing. You’re simply reflecting on the year and deciding what you feel inspired to think more about tweaking for the year ahead.
Have a dedicated time and space
Given we do reflect all the time through memories and stories, when you are setting up your reflection practice, really carve out intentional time. Plan it in advance, put it in your calendar, and date whenever it is that you document your reflection (and I highly recommend that you document it so you can look back!).
Try to tune out others’ opinions and experiences
One pitfall you might encounter in any sort of reflection exercise like this is being influenced by the outside world.
It seems really obvious, but truly the most important thing when doing any sort of reflection, is being really honest with yourself, thinking about the past year from how you experienced it. As the empathetic person that I know you are, it is indeed hard to block out what happened in the world, for other people, and what others attach to an event or outcome.
Take COVID-19 for example. The whole pandemic caused unbelievable amounts of pain and tragedy. And…you might be someone who actually enjoyed the lockdown periods as it forced you to slow down, and maybe reconsider a few things and the pace of your life.
Remember that you can have one experience, and still have empathy for what has happened to others.
Be real with yourself and for the purpose of this particular exercise, speak your own truth (also remember, you don’t have to share your reflection with anyone)!
Rate your “life buckets”
For my analytical friends out there, you can split your life into a few buckets such as: family life, career, wellbeing and community/friends. Then you can rate your fulfillment in each bucket and use that as a jumping off point for your reflection. Ask yourself “why” to each rating.
Contemplate your ideal Day
In my work as a career coach, when I’m working with clients, I often get my clients to contemplate their ideal day. What did your best days, weeks or months look like this past year? What was so awesome about them?
Think about what prevented you from achieving your 2022 goals
Think about what were the little sticky points, or hangups, in this past year that prevented you from achieving your goals. What of those were avoidable? Sometimes, life just throws unavoidable curveballs whereby we say “c’est la vie” but other times we think, “Oh, I’ve just earned how I can avoid that.”
Tune into what was just simply “good”
The good is the stuff in between the high highs and the low lows.
When you think about it, this is what (hopefully) makes up the majority of your life. It’s when someone asks how your day was, and you can genuinely say “good”.
We don’t talk about the good as much; probably because it’s not as interesting of a story, or doesn’t require a debrief. But I want you to incorporate the good into your reflection because it an tell us so much about how things went, and what the good look liked from your perspective.
More question prompts you can use to reflect on the 2022 year:
Were there any times where you felt disconnected or discomfort in your body?
What were some of the times that you felt most alive?
What were the moments that gave you butterflies?
What were the situations where you felt in awe or like you were experiencing something really positive for the first time?
Were there days when you felt so in the zone, like the juices were just flowing? What were you doing?
When did you find yourself having really good belly laughs?
Fill in the blanks
I'm going to leave you with three mad-lib style prompts, just to kick off your creative reflection juices.
2022 was a time where I experienced_____________.
I learned that ___________.
So now I’m excited to think more about _____________ for 2023.
Come back next week, when we’ll be exploring how you can take the outcome of your reflection today, all the lessons learned from the year passed, and create some really solid intentions for 2023.
